How do I deal with angry players?

One of the most difficult things for beginning referees (and for any referee, for that matter) is learning how to handle criticism and angry players, and just how much of it to “take.”

There are always going to be players who disagree with a call you make, or don’t make. Sometimes, they’ll voice a quick opinion, or vent for a moment, and you should be able to handle an objection, even if it’s strenuously made, even if it might include a bit of profanity, as long as it’s brief. However, there are some players who will continue to yell/scream/object with you, and will continue to berate you. You should not let these players continue to harp at you. It’s your responsibility to yourself, the other players, and the playing environment of the game to stop these actions and objections from continuing.

In most cases, a simple, quick, and direct statement like (“That’s enough”; “I don’t want to hear any more from you”; “We’re done”, etc), or use body language that make it clear that you’re not inviting a conversation because at this point you’re beyond that, As soon as you’re done, try to move physically away from the player and make it very clear that he/she is not to follow this should be sufficient to take care of the situation. Don’t make your statement a threat to the player; i.e. “If you don’t shut up, I’m going to card you”, because now you’re issuing a challenge. Most players are experienced enough (and sane enough human beings) that they’ll get the picture, and get back to playing.

That being said, there are some who still lack the maturity to restrain themselves, or else they’ll blow up immediately and go WAY over the line with regard to how they conduct themselves. Be proactive here, and issue those players an administrative blue card. When you do so, don’t confront the player, don’t say anything to them (such as “I warned you if....:”), and keep your composure so that you don’t appear to be vindictive. Blow your whistle, and calmly show the player the blue card from a reasonable distance, not in the player’s face. Be businesslike, but at the same time almost nonchalant, so that the air you silently and non-verbally reflect to the other players is that of “You know, I don’t want to do this, but he/she wouldn’t drop it, and left me no other choice.” Don’t let your face show anger toward the player, but that of resignation that someone was immature enough to cause the awarding of the blue card to happen.

Be sure to remind the carded player’s teammates that the administrative blue is a full two-minute penalty for the player in question, once a goal is scored the power play is over, but the player who was carded cannot return until the full two minutes has passed. Peer pressure can be a wonderful ally for you in this situation. You’ll be surprised how often the out-of-control player’s teammates can’t stand his or her behavior either, and will support your actions. They don’t want out-of-control people” spoiling their playing experience, either. One blue card should take care of the player who can’t control himself--but be prepared to take further action if needed, and most of all, keep your cool.